Today’s title is pretty self-explanatory but nevertheless an introduction is required. These are the pitfalls that most female entrepreneurs will find themselves experiencing or getting sucked into from time to time. I’ve been there, and pretty much every woman who I’ve ever spoke to about herself, her situation, her business and her dreams has each expressed something in lines with at least one of these. More likely 3, 4, 5 of these…they’re pretty common traps, and they’re deadly. The more aware you are of them, the more likely you’ll be to spot them before they take full hold, stop them in their tracks and re-focus on your path of love, enjoyment and inevitable success…
Without further ado…
Mistake #1 That Stops Your Success: Focus on Getting ‘There’
When I get ‘there’, then I’ll feel satisfied, fulfilled, complete…etc!
If you’re always working to some future goal because that’ll mean you’ve ‘made it’…you’ll never get there!
You’ll always move the bar! This is what I call ‘The Mirage Effect’ – the closer you get to your set goal, the more something bigger and shinier that’s further on the horizon attracts your attention.
You think when you’ve got your business to a certain financial point, then you’ll feel like you’ve made it. Only, as that day draws nearer and nearer, you become accustomed to this feeling of the business bringing in X-amount, and set your targets higher. Because that amount that you thought would make you feel a certain way just didn’t quite cut it. IT NEVER WILL!!
Antidote:
Celebrate the wins daily. Big/small, life-changing/seemingly insignificant – it doesn’t matter – just celebrate! The more you recognise and celebrate your wins, the more grateful you’ll feel, and gratitude is your key happiness and satisfaction, whilst attracting even better things to you!
Mistake #2 That Stops Your Success: Compare and Morph
Yes, that successful person over there has a certain way of doing things. No, that’s not how you do it. No, that’s not how YOU ‘should’ do it, either.
You will be successful because of your own flavour of things – and the more what you’re doing aligns with your values, the more inspired you’ll remain in the long term, meaning the more success you’ll create.
By becoming someone else, you’re not only doing yourself a disservice (ahem…recognise your unique supreme-ness please!) you’re also guaranteeing yourself drained energy, low enthusiasm and so low vibration resulting in low attraction – meaning hard work, with no reward.
Those clients that you’re here to serve, you’re here to serve them as YOU, not as an imitation of someone else who is already succeeding in this space.
Antidote:
Be unapologetically YOU. The people who are meant to be attracted to you and your amazing work will be. The people who aren’t meant to be, won’t. And that’s great – you’ll spend your time working with amazing clients who really resonate with your message, meaning you get them awesome results whilst walking away even more energised and enthusiastic!
Mistake #3 That Stops Your Success: Chop and Change
The ‘it hasn’t happened yet’ syndrome affects us all. STICK WITH IT!!!
The opposite end of this particular stick is flogging a dead horse….there’s a time and a place to end an avenue, I’m definitely not saying sticking with it forever whilst it drains the soul from you is the way to go, I’m saying give it the time it deserves and stop expecting instantaneous results!
Antidote:
Big picture thinking. Always know that every action you’re taking is a necessary step to that big picture. The minute we focus on the immediate gratification is the moment we want to jump ship. You’re doing what you do because you LOVE it and you’re going to create amazing things not only for you but for so many other people as well. Stick with your big picture vision, and you’ll keep doing all the daily stuff that will compound into the success you desire and deserve.
Mistake #4 That Stops Your Success: Stop Doing The Things You Love in the Business
Undoubtedly, you got into business because you LOVE what you do. Too often though, you allow doing what you love to take a back seat while becoming consumed with all the ‘businessey-stuff’ that bores the living bejesus out of you.
For the most part (sweeping generalisation alert) the things you love will be the creative aspects of your business, or working directly with clients, both of which are put on the back burner whilst you do the admin, or the ‘higher level’ tasks. Which essentially mean you might as well have got into teaching maths, because as much as your business is doing what you love, if you aren’t anymore, you’ll soon lose enthusiasm, creativity and inspiration and take a nose dive into misery, stress and apathy.
Antidote:
Refocus. Why did you start your business? What was it that lit you up the most? Where do you get into the best flow? What lights you up most of all?
One client who is currently taking part in Master Your Emotions (our 8 week transformation) loves to write and is an absolute genius with it. But she’d stopped doing it, because there ‘wasn’t time’ – now she makes time to do it, and creates even more time for other things because she’s doing that thing.
Prioritisation is massive, and you and your magic have to come first.
Remember that jar analogy that was going around a while ago? A professor stands in a lecture theatre with a jar in his hand, and fills it with golf balls, and asks when he can’t fit any more in, if the jar is full. The students dutifully nod, and the professor pulls out a bag of pebbles and proceeds to empty the pebbles into the jar, which fill all the gaps. Following the same procedure of questioning if the jar is full, he then fills the remaining gaps with sand, questions the students, then fills the jar with water. THEN it is full. The golf balls, in terms of your business, are the things you love doing, the things that light you up. Because if you’re not doing those….what the f*%k is it all about after all?!
Mistake #5 That Stops Your Success: Thinking Too Small
Whenever I talk to a prospective client, they usually begin by telling me a little about what they want to achieve…note I said ‘a little’ about it.
As the conversation progresses, typically they become energised, connected and in flow, and all of a sudden they are talking about their dreams and future achievements on a totally different level. But out in ‘normal life’, why aren’t you thinking like that daily?
We discount our ability to make huge change on the world, and think small in order to ‘stay safe’ – whatever that means. In trying to stay safe though, we inevitably end up dissatisfied, and whatever the amount of money you’re making from plodding along – if you’re dissatisfied, it’s not going to be enough for you. When we know we are capable of so much more, but don’t act – that becomes our identity, and we build belief systems and excuses around that that limit our entire life – and you’re better than that, and the world deserves better from you!
Antidote:
When you think big, you act big. Get excited about your goals, your life, your work…and think BIG so you act big, create big, and impact BIG! (grammar check, I know…it’s worth it for the point I’m making though!) Ask yourself – if money, time, social circle, age etc wasn’t a factor, what would I do? What would I want to achieve? Think as far forward as your eulogy (apologies for the morbidity) – but seriously, how do you want to be remembered? What is the legacy you want to leave – if not for the world, for your kids or loved ones? We ALL have so much more in us than we’d care to admit. Mostly, it’s fear that holds us back from ‘trying’ – from just giving it a go. What will people think? Will they laugh? Will I make it or will I fail? Think BIG, or else the weight of ‘what if’ and ‘if only’ will feel big on your chest one day…and did I mention you deserve better?
Mistake #6 That Stops Your Success: Not Wanting To Bother People
I work with women and I hear this A LOT. I’m not going to say this is exclusively a female problem, but in my experience we tend to give it wayyyy more thought than men do.
You are an expert in what you do and can add massive value! One gorgeous client I worked with was absolutely blown away when we shifted her beyond the thinking that following up was ‘bothering people’ – and the responses she got to those conversations showed her just how powerful it is. ‘I can’t believe you remember so much about me!’ – ‘that is so kind of you to check in, thank you!’ – etc, etc! All of a sudden she realised what an amazing service she was providing, and how much simply checking-in or following-up was adding to that service. Powerful reframe for her and her clients.
Antidote:
Add value. In everything you do. Add massive value, in unexpected ways. Over-deliver to people, and treat them with love and kindness with no expectation. Just keep being yourself, and those who are meant to will come to you. Follow up, follow up, follow up. Create relationships – c’mon you’re a woman, this is natural for you – you already have an unfair advantage!!
Mistake #7 That Stops Your Success: Get Caught Up In Your Head
Ohhh yes, we all do it from time to time.
That little voice in your head that tells you…”this isn’t good enough”, “I can’t do that”, “Who do I think I am?” and so on and so on. OR a myriad of pin-balling thoughts competing so fiercely against one another so you can’t clearly comprehend a single one!
Sound familiar? Thought so. Learning to master your mind and master your emotions is a game changer – it is the single most valuable asset I have acquired and has completely changed my life.
YES this is by far the longest point I’ll make throughout the entire post…and of course that’s because it’s by far the biggest trap. We are conditioned from such a young age to think in a certain way, and believe certain things – and those beliefs reside at an unconscious level, determining how you act and how you interpret the world! The power of this is incredible, and the more you can become conscious of all your programming, emotional triggers and belief systems…the freer you become and the more you ignite your potential.
It’s also the longest point because each and every other point relates back to this one.
You Focus On Getting’There’ because you think there’s a ‘there’ that will make you happy, because you’re disconnected from the fact you have everything you need within you to be completely happy.
It’s great work by the marketing industry, but it takes you out of presence, leaving you feeling less settled and satisfied, and therefore needing things outside of yourself to ‘rebalance’ the way you’re feeling.
And the list goes on – I meant it when I said every single one of the points leads back to this one big-daddy of a point…
Compare and Morph…thinking you’re not good enough on your own, in your own unique way. *self-worth issue*
Chop and Change…if I just do this thing instead, I’ll get the success they’ve had – it looks pretty easy the way they’ve done it! *disconnect!*
Stop Doing The Things You Love…well, I’m a business woman now – I better get serious about it! *belief system!*
Thinking Too Small…I could never do that! That would be amazing but I’ve no idea how so I’ll never give it a go. *limited thinking stemming from the delusion that you’re a limited being – again, great conditioning*
Not Wanting To Bother People…total and utter programming from your childhood – be seen and not heard, go away this isn’t a good time, etc! Yep… *conditioned behaviour* !!!
Antidote:
Get out of your head. Become flexible: be the willow tree, not the mighty oak. The willow will survive the storm because she is flexible and flows with the wind, whereas strong winds will take down the mighty oak because she is rigid and resists. The more flexible you can be in your behaviours (note: not your VALUES, these are points worth sticking by, always), the better outcome you’ll create for yourself.
Let go of the old baggage – those old emotions, old trigger points, negative beliefs and negative self-talk. Simply, because you deserve it. And the world is waiting on you.
Your headspace is THE most important thing in terms of life as a whole but also you becoming the success you can be, and deserve to be. You are the creator of your reality, and the more you know that and rest in the peaceful space of that every day, the quicker and more effortlessly you’ll draw to you all the things that you want.
Sound good? Let’s talk.
Click the link below, fill in your details and you’ll be directed through to book directly into my calendar. I only work with women who are the right fit for the program – who I know are really ready to step up and create some huge and exciting changes that will positively impact the world. This conversation will be to see if we are the right fit, and if so the right 5 women will be offered a complimentary 45 minute session, designed to supercharge your focus, get you thinking bigger, out of your head and into some massive inspiration!
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You guys are awesome – thanks for reading and I can’t wait to see you in next week’s blog…in the mean time, live inspired and be empowered!
